How Do You Move Past Sibling Rivalry and Focus on a Parent’s Care?

Sibling rivalry often delves into three areas. One is jealousy. A sibling might feel that mom or dad appreciates the other sibling more. There’s also the competitive nature that can occur as siblings battle each other for attention. Finally, there’s the fighting that can occur. It can be hard to push these feelings aside even when you reach your adult years.

Home Care in Boca Raton FL: Moving Past Sibling Rivalry

Home Care in Boca Raton FL: Moving Past Sibling Rivalry

How Does Sibling Rivalry Affect Family Caregiving?

You have a clear idea on what would be best for your mom or dad as they age. Your sibling disagrees. You argue over what care is necessary. The arguments frustrate your parents. Nothing happens because you cannot see eye to eye.

Take this example. For 15 years, Don lived with his mom and dad. He never paid utilities or rent. He didn’t help around the house. His kept excusing his behavior saying he had a hard time finding a job that he liked, and he wasn’t as businesses savvy as his siblings. His siblings saw it as favoritism as both had been charged rent after the age of 18. It led to lots of arguments.

When it became clear their parents needed help around the home, Don refused to chip in. He wanted them to hire a home care professional. They felt his living there rent-free could be exchanged for helping his parents with meals, housework, transportation, and medication reminders. The more he refused, the angrier his siblings became. Their parents became upset that the siblings were divided.

How Do You Get Past It?

One thing that is important to understand is that not every situation will be easily managed. In this case, Don had 15 years of free room and board. He was happy taking and not giving. When you have a situation like that, it’s often best to realize nothing will change. It’s frustrating, but you must focus on avoiding upsetting your mom or dad.

According to AARP, most seniors prefer the youngest child to be the caregiver. When that doesn’t happen, two major universities found depression can set in. In any situation, it’s critical to ask your mom and dad who they would want providing the bulk of their care. Set aside hurt feelings and do as they wish.

While you’re making sure your parent’s wishes are heard, you can still divide up home care tasks. If your mom wants you to cook the meals and help with housework, your brother could be taking care of the yard work or doing the grocery shopping for you.

Make sure respite care is part of the home care plan. You don’t want to burn out. Arrange for caregivers to provide breaks from time to time.

If you or an aging loved one are considering home care in Boca Raton, FL, please call the caring staff at Activa Home Health Care at (561) 819-4112.  Serving Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Boynton Beach, Wellington, Jupiter, West Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Lauderhill, Coral Springs, Pompano Beach and surrounding communities.

 

Sources:

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-2014/caregiving-sibling-rivalry-jacobs.html

About Jon Fedele

Jon Fedele is co-founder and Chief Executive Officer of Activa Home Health. During the past 15 years he has owned and operated several successful healthcare companies in South Florida.

“I am passionate about our community and the people we serve”, states Mr. Fedele. “We have an obligation to take care of our seniors and allow them the dignity to age safely and independently in their own homes”.

Jon is married and has three children. He enjoys waterskiing and spending time with his family and friends.
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